I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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