I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You're like the curious george of whores
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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