Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
