I just cut my nipple shaving
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
