I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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