What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
