God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
