She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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