FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
