i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize