I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
