Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
