i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize