spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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