Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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