So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize