Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
