i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
