on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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