he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
