Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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