Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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