I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
