oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
