I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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