I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
