I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i would punch a child for taco bell
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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