census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
