I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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