If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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