I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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