We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
me + whiskey = a bad person
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
