ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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