Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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