Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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