I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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