the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
