Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
