Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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