I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
