Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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