Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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