I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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