i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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