Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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