In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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