My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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