Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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