I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
