All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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