if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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