therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
