Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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