remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
