I got chris browned last night
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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