i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
a search helicopter?!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
