Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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