He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
