just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
