white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
