Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
